Charlie will be one on Wednesday and, the day before, I will be thirty, the big 3-0. I still don't know how I feel about being thirty. I certainly don't feel it anyway.
Anyway, this weekend, we are having a joint party for Charlie and I. I opted for the afternoon since it is half a children's party. I thought it wouldn't be that much work and even though my mum is helping massively, this week has been a bit of a logistical nightmare in terms of organising stuff and buying food etc! As you might know, we live on the Isle of Man, so I don't see my family very often, therefore, my parents are going to be staying with us, so I have had to ensure that the house is clean and tidy and that their rooms are ready. But this week has been mad busy at work with two meetings after school and an open evening! I feel like I haven't even seen Charlie and I've had a headache all week long.
Anyway, the food is all bought now; the parents are on their way; the cleaning is all done and there is wine chilling in my fridge! I just have to make it through a few more hours and then I can chill out and relax a bit.
I decided not to theme Charlie's party, after all, it is a joint one. So instead it's just a general birthday theme, although I did pick up some very cute Gruffalo party bags for the children! I never actually realised how much party bags cost to fill! I suppose I am a bit of a snob though and haven't gone for the traditional crap you get in a party bag; the babies are each getting a book, some bubbles and some Ella's Kitchen nibbles! The older boys are getting a make your own aeroplane kit and some sweets and the girls are getting hair bands and clips with some sweets too.
Hubby has bought me a new pandora bracelet for my birthday as my current one is full. He wants me to wear it for the party, but my actual birthday isn't until Tuesday, so I feel a bit uneasy about doing so. I probably will in the end...
We haven't bought Charlie that much for his birthday; he is one after all and won't really understand all the fuss anyway! But we have got him a few bits; a slide for the garden, a pretend Radio, several books and then I had a memory bear made for him out of his old baby grows and a photobook from Vistaprint made of his first year. I'm not putting photos of anything in this post, I want to save that for a post for his birthday, so you can have a peek of his book and memory bear then!
My grandparents are also travelling over to the Isle of Man, so on Sunday, hubby and I, Charlie and the step daughter, my parents and my grandparents are all going out for Sunday lunch, which will be really nice, especially as hubby and I don't have to pay!
So, we have a busy weekend planned and I will probably be shattered by Monday morning, but it will be worth it. I do feel guilty that Charlie doesn't get to see his grandparents, or indeed great grandparents as much as he should, but at the minute I can't do anything about that. If it was cheaper or easier to get off this little Island then we would be able to!
So stay tuned for birthday party posts and pictures next week!
Friday, February 28, 2014
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Sleep
I used to (silently) mock parents who complained about lack of sleep. I thought, well how bad can it actually be? Ha, how wrong I was. But I honestly believed that these parents were just moaning about it when really, it wasn't all that bad. I truly believed, how bad can lack of sleep make you feel. Well, I know the answer now and it ain't pretty!
Until you have lived through endless nights, weeks and even months of sleep deprivation, then I guess you can never know what it actually feels like....
In the middle of it, I was a wreck - emotionally, physically and health wise too. I was sick, all the time, colds, coughs, etc, that took their toll. I was tired, so tired, that some days, just getting a shower was the most effort I could muster. I was grumpy at work; irritable, preoccupied and unfocused. I had no inclination to do anything - the washing, ironing, hoovering etc. Jobs piled up, the house looked a mess, I felt a mess. It was horrid.
And then, I don't know what happened, but something clicked. The reason I was getting ill so much became clear (not due to lack of sleep after all, although definitely was helping the recovery period), I decided that my house needed more care and attention and, more importantly, I stooped fretting about how much sleep I was getting.
Charlie still carried on (and still does) getting in bed with us at some point throughout the night, but he started waking only once, rather than 3-6 times! When he wakes now, I just pick him up and put him in with us; perhaps not the best method, I accept, however, when we have to be up at 6am then I value sleep and if he sleeps when he is with us, then I have actually stopped caring. Apparently I am only making problems for myself, children need a structure or routine, he'll never go back to his own bed, blah blah. I am sure that may be true for some children and indeed I may have problems to come, but we have to find a solution for our life and what works for us, right now. If he sleeps then I sleep and hubby sleeps. So where's the harm? I feel better, there's less arguments, there's less stress and so everyone feels better. It's not a permanent solution, but it is for now. It works for us now.
Of course, I do wish that he would go down in his bed and stay there. But he won't, not yet, so no point wishing for that... He goes to sleep in his bed and generally stays there for about 6 hours. That's pretty good I think. If I had more will power then perhaps we would get him to go back down in his cot when he wakes, but like I say, we all need sleep.
So the point of this post is, please do no beat yourself up if you are not doing what the books say, or you mum says, or the dreaded mother in law says etc. Do what is right for you, your child, your family. And be adaptable. This won't last forever, adapt to the changes and let them fit your family.
And don't ever feel guilty.
Until you have lived through endless nights, weeks and even months of sleep deprivation, then I guess you can never know what it actually feels like....
In the middle of it, I was a wreck - emotionally, physically and health wise too. I was sick, all the time, colds, coughs, etc, that took their toll. I was tired, so tired, that some days, just getting a shower was the most effort I could muster. I was grumpy at work; irritable, preoccupied and unfocused. I had no inclination to do anything - the washing, ironing, hoovering etc. Jobs piled up, the house looked a mess, I felt a mess. It was horrid.
And then, I don't know what happened, but something clicked. The reason I was getting ill so much became clear (not due to lack of sleep after all, although definitely was helping the recovery period), I decided that my house needed more care and attention and, more importantly, I stooped fretting about how much sleep I was getting.
Charlie still carried on (and still does) getting in bed with us at some point throughout the night, but he started waking only once, rather than 3-6 times! When he wakes now, I just pick him up and put him in with us; perhaps not the best method, I accept, however, when we have to be up at 6am then I value sleep and if he sleeps when he is with us, then I have actually stopped caring. Apparently I am only making problems for myself, children need a structure or routine, he'll never go back to his own bed, blah blah. I am sure that may be true for some children and indeed I may have problems to come, but we have to find a solution for our life and what works for us, right now. If he sleeps then I sleep and hubby sleeps. So where's the harm? I feel better, there's less arguments, there's less stress and so everyone feels better. It's not a permanent solution, but it is for now. It works for us now.
Of course, I do wish that he would go down in his bed and stay there. But he won't, not yet, so no point wishing for that... He goes to sleep in his bed and generally stays there for about 6 hours. That's pretty good I think. If I had more will power then perhaps we would get him to go back down in his cot when he wakes, but like I say, we all need sleep.
So the point of this post is, please do no beat yourself up if you are not doing what the books say, or you mum says, or the dreaded mother in law says etc. Do what is right for you, your child, your family. And be adaptable. This won't last forever, adapt to the changes and let them fit your family.
And don't ever feel guilty.
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Health Matters: Part Two
So since I last spoke about my health (or lack of it), I have been to see the doctor (as I got ill AGAIN) and was referred for blood tests. And yesterday I got the results. I had the tests last week and casually rang the doctor's surgery on Monday to see if they were back. The woman on the 'phone said yes and I was to make an appointment as the doctor wanted to see me. Cue immediate panic. Over the top panic in fact, where I found the 'C' word (no not the rude word) circulating around in my head. I had 48 hours from the 'phone call to the actual appointment to wait and in that time I had dreamed up all sorts that it could be and was certainly a bit of a nervous wreck.
Anyway, I get into the doctor's office and he is as cool as a cucumber, waiting to deliver my long awaited results. Turns out I have 'enlarged red blood cells.' Hmm ok. Don't quite know what that means and to be honest, he wasn't that clear in his explanation. The words 'anaemia' and 'folates' and 'folic acid' were bandied about before asking me I was a vegan, I certainly am not! (Not that there's anything wrong with it, but I could not give up bacon or chicken curry!) Because of that, he didn't really have an explanation as to why those red blood cells would be like that. From the little bit of research I have done, it could have started when I was pregnant as I had to take iron tablets then as I was low on iron. He says I must have had it quite a while as they are very enlarged and if left untreated I would basically become officially anaemic. Even though I already have the symptoms of anaemia anyway. The whole conversation, in truth, was quite confusing and lacking in detail and explanation (I'm an English teacher so I live for detail and explanation unfortunately). He did say though, that I would be feeling poorly and lethargic until we could get it under control. I worked out from the NHS website, that I would have a lowered immune system too, so would be catching all sorts.
So at least I now know why I have felt so dreadful since the end of September. I have a course of tablets to take, for about four months and then see how it is then. I have to have more blood tests in a month to see if the cells are any different after a month of tablets. It seems that this is something I possibly could have to live with forever, again, from what I can see from the research I have done. So I will have to wait and see.
Anyway, I get into the doctor's office and he is as cool as a cucumber, waiting to deliver my long awaited results. Turns out I have 'enlarged red blood cells.' Hmm ok. Don't quite know what that means and to be honest, he wasn't that clear in his explanation. The words 'anaemia' and 'folates' and 'folic acid' were bandied about before asking me I was a vegan, I certainly am not! (Not that there's anything wrong with it, but I could not give up bacon or chicken curry!) Because of that, he didn't really have an explanation as to why those red blood cells would be like that. From the little bit of research I have done, it could have started when I was pregnant as I had to take iron tablets then as I was low on iron. He says I must have had it quite a while as they are very enlarged and if left untreated I would basically become officially anaemic. Even though I already have the symptoms of anaemia anyway. The whole conversation, in truth, was quite confusing and lacking in detail and explanation (I'm an English teacher so I live for detail and explanation unfortunately). He did say though, that I would be feeling poorly and lethargic until we could get it under control. I worked out from the NHS website, that I would have a lowered immune system too, so would be catching all sorts.
So at least I now know why I have felt so dreadful since the end of September. I have a course of tablets to take, for about four months and then see how it is then. I have to have more blood tests in a month to see if the cells are any different after a month of tablets. It seems that this is something I possibly could have to live with forever, again, from what I can see from the research I have done. So I will have to wait and see.
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Why won't my baby sleep??!
So you might remember back in October, we were having trouble with getting Charlie to sleep, either going to sleep by himself or then staying asleep. I talked on my blog here, about our attempts at sleep training and it seemed to work, for about a month. Once he hit 8 months, it all started to go wrong again.
At first, I thought he had started the separation anxiety phase and thought that if we just persevered for a few weeks, then he would go back to how he was. However, he is now nearly 11 months and there is no sign of him going back to his old sleeping habit. He used to go to bed between 7.30 and 8, depending on how tired he was really. But the routine was always the same: bath after tea and then Pjs on, cuddles with Daddy and then some milk. He'd be sleepy enough to put in his cot half awake and within 10 minutes or so, he would be asleep. He'd wake between 3-5am for a feed and go back down.
Now he won't even entertain the idea of going down in his cot awake. He screams and screams. Last night he screamed so much he started chocking and almost being sick and when I went to him he clung on to me sobbing his eyes out. Now the no nonsense parents would probably say to me that I gave in and that's what he wanted, but there is no way that I am leaving my sobbing baby to cry like that. I can generally work out when he's crying as if to say 'how dare you put me in my cot awake and not feed me to sleep.' This was very different. Eventually I managed to place him in his cot half asleep and had to stay there stroking him until he drifted off. He was then awake within half an hour! I gave in and fed him back to sleep and managed to get him back down. He then woke up at 1am. But it was really, really cold last night and his grow egg was on blue, so I am not sure if he was just cold. He ended up in bed with us at 1am anyway.
So I am left with wondering what to do. I don't feel I can go back to sleep training based on last night as I cannot leave him like that. He managed to get himself to sleep the night before though, with much less screaming, so I know he can do it. I just don't know what to do. I just want him to go to bed at a reasonable hour and stay there until about 4-5am, I don't mind that, I can work on that later on, once we've cracked actually going to bed! I really need some advice. I'm reluctant to speak to the health visitor as she told me to just do controlled crying, which I don't agree with. Although I can see the benefits and I know that it is proven to work. I know that he's older now, so it's not as traumatic for him, but it's still not nice.
So what do I do? Do I bite the bullet and go back to sleep training and endure his screaming for a few nights? If so, at what point do I cuddle him and then put back down? Or do I just give in and feed him to sleep until he weans himself off??? Help!
At first, I thought he had started the separation anxiety phase and thought that if we just persevered for a few weeks, then he would go back to how he was. However, he is now nearly 11 months and there is no sign of him going back to his old sleeping habit. He used to go to bed between 7.30 and 8, depending on how tired he was really. But the routine was always the same: bath after tea and then Pjs on, cuddles with Daddy and then some milk. He'd be sleepy enough to put in his cot half awake and within 10 minutes or so, he would be asleep. He'd wake between 3-5am for a feed and go back down.
Now he won't even entertain the idea of going down in his cot awake. He screams and screams. Last night he screamed so much he started chocking and almost being sick and when I went to him he clung on to me sobbing his eyes out. Now the no nonsense parents would probably say to me that I gave in and that's what he wanted, but there is no way that I am leaving my sobbing baby to cry like that. I can generally work out when he's crying as if to say 'how dare you put me in my cot awake and not feed me to sleep.' This was very different. Eventually I managed to place him in his cot half asleep and had to stay there stroking him until he drifted off. He was then awake within half an hour! I gave in and fed him back to sleep and managed to get him back down. He then woke up at 1am. But it was really, really cold last night and his grow egg was on blue, so I am not sure if he was just cold. He ended up in bed with us at 1am anyway.
So I am left with wondering what to do. I don't feel I can go back to sleep training based on last night as I cannot leave him like that. He managed to get himself to sleep the night before though, with much less screaming, so I know he can do it. I just don't know what to do. I just want him to go to bed at a reasonable hour and stay there until about 4-5am, I don't mind that, I can work on that later on, once we've cracked actually going to bed! I really need some advice. I'm reluctant to speak to the health visitor as she told me to just do controlled crying, which I don't agree with. Although I can see the benefits and I know that it is proven to work. I know that he's older now, so it's not as traumatic for him, but it's still not nice.
So what do I do? Do I bite the bullet and go back to sleep training and endure his screaming for a few nights? If so, at what point do I cuddle him and then put back down? Or do I just give in and feed him to sleep until he weans himself off??? Help!
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Birthday wish list
In about 6 weeks I am going to be 30. Eeek. I'm not sure how I feel about it to be honest. Normally, I love birthdays. They have always been a big celebration, whatever the age, when I was growing up and into adulthood. My family do celebrating rather well. However, turning 30 feels like I am getting old. Being in my 20s I could kid myself I was still quite young, but this feels different. People tell me I certainly don't look 30; I don't have any wrinkles yet and I get asked for ID when buying alcohol. But it feels like I need pack my skinny jeans and hi-tops away and start wearing sensible, plain old things from M&S. I know I am being dramatic, but that's how it feels.
Anyway, I certainly won't be packing my skinny jeans away and in an attempt to cheer myself up I have put together a little birthday wish list, just in case the birthday fairies need some inspiration!
Anyway, I certainly won't be packing my skinny jeans away and in an attempt to cheer myself up I have put together a little birthday wish list, just in case the birthday fairies need some inspiration!
Monday, January 13, 2014
Recipe book challenge 2014
One of the goals for 2014, that I forgot to include on my non-resolutions post, was to try and be a bit more creative in the kitchen. I can cook pretty well (or so I believe!), but our meal planning tends to revolve around the same things - curry, chilli, spag bol, casserole, risotto, lasagna, fajitas, Kiev's. So I'd like to try and expand my cooking and my cooking skills. I've made other stuff in the past, it just comes down to laziness and can't be bothered.
I've so many cook books and I do actually read most of them fairly frequently, but then tend to cook the same things out of them, rather than try different ones.
My favourite book, or actually the one I get the most use out of, is probably Jamie's Ministry Of Food. That book actually re-taught me some of the basics of cooking again. I tend to go to that one should I want a curry or check my lasagna recipe. But I don't want to be stuck with one book. I also want to try more sweet recipes, as I hardly ever bake anymore or indeed never make a pudding. Preferring to buy one.
So my cookbook challenge this year is to try a new recipe from the books each week. One will be a minimum, but if I manage more than that's even better! I'm always interested to what other people cook, so if you have a great recipe that you think I should try, then please link it up or tweet me with it (@lilamy84). I also used to join in with Mrs M's meal planning Monday, so I am going to start that again from this week, including my one new recipe too!
I've so many cook books and I do actually read most of them fairly frequently, but then tend to cook the same things out of them, rather than try different ones.
My favourite book, or actually the one I get the most use out of, is probably Jamie's Ministry Of Food. That book actually re-taught me some of the basics of cooking again. I tend to go to that one should I want a curry or check my lasagna recipe. But I don't want to be stuck with one book. I also want to try more sweet recipes, as I hardly ever bake anymore or indeed never make a pudding. Preferring to buy one.
So my cookbook challenge this year is to try a new recipe from the books each week. One will be a minimum, but if I manage more than that's even better! I'm always interested to what other people cook, so if you have a great recipe that you think I should try, then please link it up or tweet me with it (@lilamy84). I also used to join in with Mrs M's meal planning Monday, so I am going to start that again from this week, including my one new recipe too!
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Recipe Time: Cheesy pasta bake
I never used to be a fan of pasta bakes. I hate the ones out of jars that you're supposed to mix with tuna, yuck. I can't stomach tuna that well at the best of times, but hot?! Yuck! Anyway that's just me.
However I found a four cheese pasta bake in The Co-Op a few months back and it was yummy. It lacked some substance though and was a bit pricey for what it was so I decided to create my own. Below is the result of that! I didn't use four cheeses as that would make it quite expensive, so I used mature cheddar and Parmesan. I also added chicken and chorizo to make it a bit more substantial as a meal and I added a salad to go with it. It was really comforting and tasty and even the hubby enjoyed it!
So here is how I made it:
300g pasta (I used)
tin of chopped tomatoes
1 garlic clove
150g cheddar cheese, grated.
100g Parmesan (I buy already grated)
100g chorizo sliced
200g chicken (cooked beforehand), chopped into pieces
Method:
Turn the oven on and preheat to about 180c. Boil the pasta for about 5 mins less than the packet instructions. As that's boiling away, pour the the tinned tomatoes into a saucepan and add the chopped garlic. Bring to a simmer and simmer for about 7 -10 mins.
Drain the pasta and pour into a baking dish. Pour the tomato sauce over and mix in. Add the chicken and the chorizo and then layer the cheese over the pasta and give it all a good stir so it all mixes in. Grate more cheese over top and sprinkle some more Parmesan over. Sprinkle some basil over the top and some olive oil and then bake in the oven for about 15 minutes.
Serve with salad and crusty/garlic bread. Yummy!
The before picture doesn't really make it look very appetising, but I assure you it was yummy! Very comforting and moreish. Being greedy guts, I forgot to take a picture once it was cooked.
However I found a four cheese pasta bake in The Co-Op a few months back and it was yummy. It lacked some substance though and was a bit pricey for what it was so I decided to create my own. Below is the result of that! I didn't use four cheeses as that would make it quite expensive, so I used mature cheddar and Parmesan. I also added chicken and chorizo to make it a bit more substantial as a meal and I added a salad to go with it. It was really comforting and tasty and even the hubby enjoyed it!
So here is how I made it:
300g pasta (I used)
tin of chopped tomatoes
1 garlic clove
150g cheddar cheese, grated.
100g Parmesan (I buy already grated)
100g chorizo sliced
200g chicken (cooked beforehand), chopped into pieces
Method:
Turn the oven on and preheat to about 180c. Boil the pasta for about 5 mins less than the packet instructions. As that's boiling away, pour the the tinned tomatoes into a saucepan and add the chopped garlic. Bring to a simmer and simmer for about 7 -10 mins.
Drain the pasta and pour into a baking dish. Pour the tomato sauce over and mix in. Add the chicken and the chorizo and then layer the cheese over the pasta and give it all a good stir so it all mixes in. Grate more cheese over top and sprinkle some more Parmesan over. Sprinkle some basil over the top and some olive oil and then bake in the oven for about 15 minutes.
Serve with salad and crusty/garlic bread. Yummy!
The before picture doesn't really make it look very appetising, but I assure you it was yummy! Very comforting and moreish. Being greedy guts, I forgot to take a picture once it was cooked.
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