So, I really thought that, by now, I would have got used to being at work and leaving my boy with the childminder. Turns out, I'm not. I miss him terribly. Someone please tell me that it does eventually get better?
I so desperately want to be a stay at home mum that I am lying awake at night trying to find a way around it. You see, I am the main breadwinner in our house. We just could not afford to live without my salary. It actually really really makes me mad that there are some people on benefits out there that can afford not to work and yet still live in luxury. Don't get me wrong, I am not criticising anyone on benefits who really need it or for those that it tops up what little salary they do get. But those that are on thousands of pounds worth, living in a council house and living a more luxurious life than I am, on what is actually considered a pretty decent salary. It's just not fair. I would never give up my job and expect the country or the government to support me. I would only ever do it, if we could afford to live off one salary.
Anyway, I am missing my boy. He goes to bed earlier now too, so when I pick him up at 4, I only have about two and half hours to actually spend any time with him and that time is normally taken up by making tea, putting a wash on, giving him a bath etc, so I don't feel like I spend any quality time with him until the weekend. He's happy enough to play around me and follow me around by crawling, but I don't sit down and play with him that often.
I do like my job, and I know I want to continue to work. I just have to get used to missing him. I feel really sad for my old, albeit brief, life of being a stay at home mum whilst on maternity leave. I miss those lovely, long luxurious days we had together.
I suppose I need to focus and wise up. Realise that this isn't going to change. Unless we win the lottery of course. Which isn't about to happen anytime soon!
If you have any useful ideas of businesses I can run at home then do get in touch! Ha!