My dear boy Charlie, at 12 months old

So you are now one year old. Twelve whole months since you were born. Everyone says it and it's such a cliche, but where has the time gone?! It still feels like last week I was sat in the hospital desperate for you to make your appearance!

You are a proper little boy now, no longer a baby. I think you lost your baby ways the day you started walking. You are now so good at it and can toddle around with the rest of them! You have grown in strength and you hardly fall over now and when you do you don't have to hold on to anything to get back up.
You even walked outside for the first time this weekend. Just on the drive way, but it was clear you wanted to go off and explore and I had to pull you away from the bushes before you poked yourself in the eye!

You are still such a good eater and your favourite is definitely chicken curry and rice! You love a poppadom or a prawn cracker! We can't wean you off your mummy's milk though, god knows when you are going to get off that! You won't take a bottle and even though you are getting better at it, you still don't really like water out of your sippy cup. Despite the fact you still have no teeth, you manage to eat almost anything that is put in front of you.

You can now say 'mamma', 'dadda'  'hiya' and 'ta.' You say ta when people give you things and you make so much noise all the time, you are obviously practising and getting ready to talk! You also started waving bye bye at people, although you do it once they have left the room!

Unfortunately for mummy and daddy, you still don't really like sleep! You go to bed OK and you snuggle down next to Dumbo that your sister has let you borrow, as you took a shine to it. Then you sleep for a few hours, but wake around 1-3am and want to get in with us. It's so lovely to have your little warm body next to me that, actually (don't tell daddy), I quite like it and I have gotten used to it now. I have suggested that daddy can sleep in the spare room so that he gets some sleep as you like to kick him a lot!

You have started singing and dancing too! It started a few weeks ago when I read the book 'Old McDonald had a farm' to you and it plays the music. I kept pressing the music and then singing it to you and you sang it back to me! You now do it all the time! You also like to dance if some music comes on and the other day you sang along to Pharrell Williams' Happy! It was so cute, I have downloaded that song now so we can dance to it when ever you want.

You are still affectionate and getting even more so. When we say 'kiss' you give us all a kiss and sometimes you even do it of your own accord. You also come to us for hugs and cuddles, especially when you are tired. However, you scream the house down if we leave a room and you can't come with us!

Mummy and daddy are so proud of you and even though we get exasperated about the lack of sleep we are still getting, we love you so much and think you are a very special little boy. You are so clever and full of energy and life. You never sit still and so we can't understand why you're not keen on sleep!

Until next time, (in the style of Tess Daly) Keep Dancing!

When you spend your 30th birthday in A&E

So it seems the birthday gods do not favour me very well. This year, on my birthday, for the third year running, I spent it in hospital. Two years ago, hubby fell on a path down to the beach and he damaged some nerves in his back and neck and so we spent the time in hospital and with him dosed up on tramadol. Last year, you may remember that I had been induced the day before my birthday, so again, I was in hospital and then last week, the day I turned 30, a memorable day, I ended up in A&E.

As you can imagine, with the past two birthdays, not so great, I really wanted this year to be special, especially with it being my 30th. I have had mixed feelings about being 30 and so in one way I was looking forward to getting home from work, opening some pressies and cracking open the bubbles with a Chinese take away.

The day started off well; I opened a few cards, especially ones from hubby, Charlie and the stepdaughter and got a few goodies off a friend at work. I had a pleasant and uneventful day at work for a change, due to parents day and then we picked up the step daughter and came home ready to celebrate. I got some really lovely gifts and we opened up the bubbles. I got to choose what we had for dinner and I had already chosen Chinese, so the hubby went and picked it up.

And that, was where my evening went downhill.

I love Chinese! I have, in the past, been guilty of ordering the same thing every time we go, so I have been trying to be a bit more adventurous and I have been ordering different stuff. That came back to bite me this day! I ordered Cantonese crispy chicken with sweet and sour sauce. Anyway, I had almost finished it (thankfully!) and I felt something sharp in my throat. I tried to swallow it but started choking but managed to cough enough to move it. However, there was something definitely stuck and it was sharp and it was hurting. I didn't think too much of it at first, I thought it would go down. But, it didn't! It got worse, I couldn't swallow properly and it was really hurting and making me retch. In the end, hubby said we would have to go to the local walk in centre and see if they could see it. I was really reluctant to go as it was my birthday and I felt that another one was about to be ruined!

Hubby's sister arrived with pressies, so we dumped the kids with her and flew round the corner to the walk in, fortunately we only live two minutes away from the walk in! They had a look and couldn't see anything and as it was after 7, they had no x ray department open, so they sent me to the local A&E, which was half an hour away! Hubby's sister had to go, so I dropped hubby home and set off to A&E on my own. By this point I had resigned myself to an evening in A&E, so I was feeling pretty miserable!

When I got to A&E, they said that one way to try and move objects stuck in the throat is to gulp coke! So they sent me off to the hospital shop to buy some coke. I returned with one 500ml bottle, which was laughed at and dispatched back to the shop for as much as I could get! They told me to sit in the toilets and gulp the coke as it would probably make me retch or vomit. It didn't, thankfully. But apparently, vomiting might have been better as it would move the object. Anyway, I sat there and drank 2 and half litres of coke and by the end of the first litre and a half I was starting to feel ill. Imagine drinking that much coke in such a short space of time! It was horrible and it's safe to say I am certainly off coke for a long while. I did feel that it had moved slightly and it didn't feel as stuck. So I told them as I thought they would then let me go, but no! The nurse said that since I had driven all that way, that it was a good idea to stay and see the doctor. I finally went from triage to a room in A&E to be promptly told that a major trauma had just come and (quite rightly) I would now have to wait even longer. I sat there, for what felt like an age, and then the doctor came in, asked if I was being sick, asked if I could breathe and if the coke had moved it. I answered these questions satisfactorily apparently as I was then told I could go home and to go back if it was still there in the morning.

So I managed to get home before midnight on my birthday and I also managed two more glasses of bubbles! This seemed to do the trick as all of a sudden I had a massive coughing fit, and the object moved and went down! It was horrid, it felt like I was swallowing a twig!

After that, my throat was very very sore, I could hardly swallow as obviously whatever it was, had scratched  it or damaged it. Ever since then, I have had a horrible cough which I presume is a result of that, although with my current health situation at the moment, I don't know if I am just ill again!

So, safe to say that my 30th will certainly be a day to remember, and not for the right reasons. Although, silver linings - I got some beautiful pressies! (pictured below)

Mother's Day gift ideas

I wrote this post and then thought, that, actually I suppose it's more of a wish list, a hint list if you like for the hubby! He's not good at choosing presents or taking hints so I have to normally shove a list in his direction if I am to get anything remotely useful or anything that I actually want.

So, first up is this little number. I saw it on Janelle's blog quite a few months ago and adored it. But she lives in the US and there was no way I was paying for delivery to the UK for a jumper. And then I found a stockist in the UK! So here is the 'Hello' sweatshirt from Southwood Stores. 

I toyed with the idea of putting an iPad on my birthday list, but it would have meant that I wouldn't have got much else, considering the price. So I restrained myself. However, I still live in hope that an ipad will magically wing its way to me somehow. I'm definitely an Apple girl. I have an iPhone, and iPod, a Macbook Pro, a Macbook Air and I just need the iPad to complete the collection! I am actually really confused as to which ipad I would want, there seems to be quote a bit of choice on Amazon. I thought this one looked good, it was one of the dearer ones, so it probably is! 

I've really been trying to look after my skin, especially since having Charlie, so I am keen to find some new facial skincare products to look after my face. Also, I am now 30, gasp, so I need something that will take care of my skin properly. I quite fancy the Vitamin C range from The Body Shop, after seeing them on Kelly's blog the other day. Kelly said that she has used it for a while now and believes it to be very effective, so it's worth a go! 

I'd like to try the this, the Vitamin C Microdermabrasion scrub. 

And use with this, The Vitamin C Skin Reviver. 

Finally, I would like to update my nail varnish collection. I want some spirng shades as I am sick of wearing dark purples and blues. I want pretty, happy shades to mathc the sun we are getting at the moment. I used to love Nails Inc and haven't bought any for ages, so I quite fancy these....

The Spring Summer Collection

I've been looking for a natural nail colour but always love pinks and the blue colour in this looks lush!

So there's my little list. Any other inspiration for Mother's Day out there?

Cook book challenge 1

Hmm, I thought  I had done my first post about this, then I checked my drafts and there was one still sat there! Anyway, I will share that one with you next week, but I wanted to share this first as I just can't get enough of it!

I was flicking through Nigella's Kitchen book about a month ago, looking for some inspiration as hubby and I were getting sick of eating the same thing over and over again. I came across, this, the Crustless Pizza and thought it sounded quick and easy and looked yummy. Now, don't be fooled, if you use Nigella's recipe for this then don't ever expect it to look like the one in the picture. God only knows how she made it look like that. I've made it five times now and not once has it turned out like the one in the picture!

I fancied our crustless pizza to be a bit more cheesy and a bit more substantial, so I have included my own changes below in italics, but if you want Nigella's orginal then see her Kitchen book for the recipe. I added lots of mozzarella to the top of the pizza and added ham, mushroom and sliced cherry tomatoes as toppings. I served it with chips and a salad and I have to say it was yummy! It was very moreish and definitely filling. I would have liked some for my lunch the day after, but we are greedy guts and it all went! Now this is by no means healthy, what with the large quantities of cheese (and of course the side of chips!) but it is yummy and it is very comforting after a long, hard day at work.

So here it is, as I said above, my own additions or amendments are in italics.

Ingredients: 

1 egg
100g plain flour
250 ml full fat milk (I used whatever we had in the fridge, which turned out to be semi-skimmed milk)
100g grated cheddar cheese (I used 150g!)
Pinch of salt
Butter, to grease your baking tin

Optional extras:

3/4 of a mozzarella ball, sliced
Handful of cherry tomatoes, sliced
Handful of ham, torn into large pieces 
Handful of mushrooms, sliced

Nigella says you could also add chorizo, but you could also add salami or pepperoni or whatever you like on your pizza!

Method

Pre-heat oven to 200c. Beat the egg, milk, flour and salt together until smooth. Add half of the grated cheddar and stir.
Grease your baking dish. Now Nigella is fairly specific about what sort to use and what diameter etc. I can't say I always pay that much attention to things like that, so I found a silicone baking dish (which happened to be pink!) and I used that. The only thing I would say is that being silicone, it was a little flimsy getting a liquid into the oven in it! However, I did it and I think it worked well. Anyway, Nigella says use a 8 inch round baking dish or similar. The comments on her website say a tin one, but like I say I used silicone.

Pour the mixture into the dish and put in the oven for 30 minutes. This is where I disagree with Nigella, and that could be to do with the dish I use. But it takes about 35 minutes. However I would keep checking as it can quickly brown. When cooked, take it out and sprinkle the remaining cheese on top, add the mozzarella slices and whatever toppings you are using and then add back to the oven for another 5-10 minutes, again keep checking as your toppings can catch if you don't keep checking.

It turns out a bit odd if I am honest. Don't get me wrong, it's fabulous and very delicious, but it's like a cross between a massive Yorkshire pudding and an omelette. Granted, I know, that does not sound all that amazing, but please be assured it is! I was actually very surprised. It's cheesy and very, very tasty.

Please let me know if you make it and what you add to it, I am keen to see other people's variations.

This is only half of it, as hubby had the other half! 

The MADS

We have had the busiest weekend ever! My parents, Grandparents and my Aunty and cousin arrived on Friday evening ready for Charlie and I's party on Saturday. The house was busy, chaotic and loud to say the least! Although I loved having everyone round. I frantically had to run around making party food with my mum on Saturday and then actually host our party and then on Sunday we all went out for dinner and everyone then came back to ours. It's been three nights of wine induced late nights, a little boy who didn't sleep properly (probably because of the change of routine) and not much time to sit and chill.

Everyone went home this morning before I went to work and I arrived at work feeling a little sad. It's not actually my birthday until tomorrow, so I won't actually see any of my family on my birthday (apart from the hubby) and I was also thinking it is another six weeks before I see them again.

So my day was massively cheered up by a tweet I got that said I had been nominated for a MADs! I clicked the notification on my phone and actually couldn't believe it, I was sure it must have been a mistake. So I went to the MADS website and checked the categories, and there, to my utter surprise, sat in the Best baby blog category is little old me! Someone has actually nominated my blog for a MADs!

If you have literally no clue what I am talking about, then the MADS stands for the Mum and Dad blog awards, sponsored by Parentdish. They are in their fifth year of awards now and they have 15 categories that blogs can be nominated in. You can see the categories here. Basically, people nominate their chosen blogs for one (or more) of the selected categories and then once they have been nominated, voting can start happening. The four blogs out of each category with the most votes then go on to the award finals with one more blog being chosen by the judging panel. The five finalists for each category will then be announced and once again, everyone can vote for the overall winner in that category. The results are announced at a big Gala awards ceremony in London in September.

Now, I am under no illusion, there is no chance I am going to win overall, especially when I look at the blogs that are in my category! However, the fact that someone has taken the time to go to the website and actually nominate my little blog makes me very happy. Proud even. I know that my blog isn't as fancy as others; it's not as exciting to read as others and I am yet to work with PR etc. But I blog because I want to; I love to write and as you may remember I am an English teacher. Writing is my life basically! And also I blog because I want to share with people the experiences I have as a mum. It's comforting to read other baby/parenting blogs and see that what I am going through with Charlie (especially sleep related!) is happening or has happened to other parents. I feel less alone and am reassured and comforted. So if someone enjoys what I write and has also felt reassured or even thought 'god I'm glad MY child isn't like that!' then that pleases me too.

So to whomever nominated me, I say a very big thank you! You made my day when I was feeling a little blue and even though I won't win, just to be nominated, when my blog is still in its infancy, is wonderful!

Of course, if you would like to vote for my blog in the Best Baby Blog category, then please follow the link here to start your voting process.

Good luck to all the blogs, there are some fabulous ones popping up, along with some lesser known ones that I look forward to sitting down with a cuppa and a cream egg later to read!

1 and 30

Charlie will be one on Wednesday and, the day before, I will be thirty, the big 3-0. I still don't know how I feel about being thirty. I certainly don't feel it anyway.

Anyway, this weekend, we are having a joint party for Charlie and I. I opted for the afternoon since it is half a children's party. I thought it wouldn't be that much work and even though my mum is helping massively, this week has been a bit of a logistical nightmare in terms of organising stuff and buying food etc! As you might know, we live on the Isle of Man, so I don't see my family very often, therefore, my parents are going to be staying with us, so I have had to ensure that the house is clean and tidy and that their rooms are ready. But this week has been mad busy at work with two meetings after school and an open evening! I feel like I haven't even seen Charlie and I've had a headache all week long.

Anyway, the food is all bought now; the parents are on their way; the cleaning is all done and there is wine chilling in my fridge! I just have to make it through a few more hours and then I can chill out and relax a bit.

I decided not to theme Charlie's party, after all, it is a joint one. So instead it's just a general birthday theme, although I did pick up some very cute Gruffalo party bags for the children! I never actually realised how much party bags cost to fill! I suppose I am a bit of a snob though and haven't gone for the traditional crap you get in a party bag; the babies are each getting a book, some bubbles and some Ella's Kitchen nibbles! The older boys are getting a make your own aeroplane kit and some sweets and the girls are getting hair bands and clips with some sweets too.

Hubby has bought me a new pandora bracelet for my birthday as my current one is full. He wants me to wear it for the party, but my actual birthday isn't until Tuesday, so I feel a bit uneasy about doing so. I probably will in the end...

We haven't bought Charlie that much for his birthday; he is one after all and won't really understand all the fuss anyway! But we have got him a few bits; a slide for the garden, a pretend Radio, several books and then I had a memory bear made for him out of his old baby grows and a photobook from Vistaprint made of his first year. I'm not putting photos of anything in this post, I want to save that for a post for his birthday, so you can have a peek of his book and memory bear then!

My grandparents are also travelling over to the Isle of Man, so on Sunday, hubby and I, Charlie and the step daughter, my parents and my grandparents are all going out for Sunday lunch, which will be really nice, especially as hubby and I don't have to pay!

So, we have a busy weekend planned and I will probably be shattered by Monday morning, but it will be worth it. I do feel guilty that Charlie doesn't get to see his grandparents, or indeed great grandparents as much as he should, but at the minute I can't do anything about that. If it was cheaper or easier to get off this little Island then we would be able to!

So stay tuned for birthday party posts and pictures next week!

Sleep

I used to (silently) mock parents who complained about lack of sleep. I thought, well how bad can it actually be? Ha, how wrong I was. But I honestly believed that these parents were just moaning about it when really, it wasn't all that bad. I truly believed, how bad can lack of sleep make you feel. Well, I know the answer now and it ain't pretty!

Until you have lived through endless nights, weeks and even months of sleep deprivation, then I guess you can never know what it actually feels like....

In the middle of it, I was a wreck - emotionally, physically and health wise too. I was sick, all the time, colds, coughs, etc, that took their toll. I was tired, so tired, that some days, just getting a shower was the most effort I could muster. I was grumpy at work; irritable, preoccupied and unfocused. I had no inclination to do anything  - the washing, ironing, hoovering etc. Jobs piled up, the house looked a mess, I felt a mess. It was horrid.

And then, I don't know what happened, but something clicked. The reason I was getting ill so much became clear (not due to lack of sleep after all, although definitely was helping the recovery period), I decided that my house needed more care and attention and, more importantly, I stooped fretting about how much sleep I was getting.

Charlie still carried on (and still does) getting in bed with us at some point throughout the night, but he started waking only once, rather than 3-6 times! When he wakes now, I just pick him up and put him in with us; perhaps not the best method, I accept, however, when we have to be up at 6am then I value sleep and if he sleeps when he is with us, then I have actually stopped caring. Apparently I am only making problems for myself, children need a structure or routine, he'll never go back to his own bed, blah blah. I am sure that may be true for some children and indeed I may have problems to come, but we have to find a solution for our life and what works for us, right now. If he sleeps then I sleep and hubby sleeps. So where's the harm? I feel better, there's less arguments, there's less stress and so everyone feels better. It's not a permanent solution, but it is for now. It works for us now.

Of course, I do wish that he would go down in his bed and stay there. But he won't, not yet, so no point wishing for that... He goes to sleep in his bed and generally stays there for about 6 hours. That's pretty good I think. If I had more will power then perhaps we would get him to go back down in his cot when he wakes, but like I say, we all need sleep.

So the point of this post is, please do no beat yourself up if you are not doing what the books say, or you mum says, or the dreaded mother in law says etc. Do what is right for you, your child, your family. And be adaptable. This won't last forever, adapt to the changes and let them fit your family.

And don't ever feel guilty.