Some things that I love

It's been a while since I last blogged - babies do take up quite a bit of time, but things are getting much easier now and he is letting me put him down for more than 5 mins at a time!

So I decided to link up with butwhymummywhy and join in with her 'Some things that I love'

Something I read

When Charlie was born we had some difficulties getting to grips with breastfeeding and so my lovely friend lent me her book - The Womanly Art Of Breastfeeding. This book has been my lifesaver and when I felt like giving up breastfeeding completely it really helped me to focus and give it another go. I am so grateful for this book, without it I would probably be using formula now.

Something I watched 

I don't get a lot of time to watch TV! I tend to have This Morning on in the background in the mornings but in the evening hubby takes over the TV! I was out the other week in town and popped in to Superdrug where they had Les Miserables for £9.99. Hubby wouldn't come to the cinema with me to see it as he hates things like this so I hadn't seen it. So I got the DVD and managed to watch it whilst hubby was out last week. It is amazing! I didn't know what to expect but it is really good. I wasn't too keen on Russell Crowe as Javier but the rest of the film was fab.

Something I wore 

Whilst I was still pregnant I bought a few bits of clothing with some Christmas money I had been given to save for after Charlie was born. One of them was these jeans from River Island. I love them! Even better I had to return them and get a size smaller as they were too big after pregnancy as I lost so much weight to begin with, down to breastfeeding I think. So I am loving wearing these, they are skinny but stretchy and I love the pattern down the side of them. 

Something I listened to

As I am not watching much TV I have started downloading more music onto my iPhone, especially to listen to in the car. Charlie seems to be soothed by music, particularly Empire State of Mind! But my favourite track at the moment is Still Into You by Paramore. It seems a bit cheesy but I think it sums up hubby and me at the minute. 

Something I cannot live without 

This has to be Charlie! He is my world and I cannot believe I made him! I miss him when he is in someone else's arms, which I know is stupid, but I just can't get enough of him. He is really growing up now and has begun to smile and laugh quite a bit. He is still small in weight for his age, but he is gaining weight well so no one is concerned about him. He has such as wonderful little personality and he loves to play, especially with his daddy. He sits and talks to his animals and it is just the most wonderful sound! 

If you would like to join in with Some things that I Love, please pop along to butwhymummywhy.com and click the linky to enter. 

mummystartingout x

Another one taken too soon

You might remember that throughout most of my pregnancy I worried something would happen to my baby. I worried I would miscarry and then once we got past 24 weeks I worried each time I didn't feel him move for a while. So the sense of relief when they finally placed a damp, warm creature on my chest I cannot describe. Tonight I thank my lucky stars that Charlie was born safely and I have my gorgeous, wonderful nine week old. But I will never, ever take it for granted.

On Sunday my lovely friend who I first met at nursery, before going onto the same primary and secondary school with and then the same college, had her long awaited baby girl. She and her partner had been trying for 15 months to conceive their baby. During delivery the baby's shoulder got stuck and she was deprived of oxygen for far too long. When they did get her out she needed to be resuscitated and they then put her in an incubator. Unfortunately she didn't respond well after being starved of oxygen for so long and on Tuesday night heaven decided to claim another angel. 

Another angel taken far too soon. I cannot even begin to comprehend how losing your child, whatever age, must feel  like. How do you even begin to carry on after that? It really makes me wonder about god and religion. If there is a god, why would he give someone the wonderful gift of a child and then take it straight away? What is the point? 

My Grandma always used to say that heaven always chooses the best ones first, but that's no comfort to the ones left behind. 

I am utterly devastated for my lovely friend and her family. It would have been their first grandchild. It still is, but it will always be tinged with complete sadness and devastation. 

The past two nights I've cuddled my boy so tight and not been bothered when he cries. I've checked on him every few minutes when he's been sleeping and told him how much I love him. I feel blessed that I have my healthy boy but I will never take him for granted. Nothing is forever. 

Rest in peace little baby Annabella. Sleep well xx

Mummystartingout x

8 weeks as a Mummy - what I've learnt

1. That the first few weeks are as hard as people tell you they will be. Stupidly I thought "how bad can it be" haha I laugh in the face of my naivety now! Those first few weeks ARE tough, but they do pass and it gets better.

2. That just because baby naps between 10am and 1pm one day, does not mean he will do it again the next day. Or ever.

3. If you have a boy baby, always point his willy downwards when changing his nappy!

4. If you're breast feeding and don't use a boob for a few hours it will hurt! And go huge and very hard. I have willed Charlie to wake up a few times just for some relief!

5. That even if your baby sleeps quite well at night, you will still be tired. There is so much to throughout the day.

6. The washing bag or washing line/maiden will never ever be empty again! Babies go through a lot of clothes. Plus if you're using real nappies that's never ending too.

7. Baby poo looks like chicken korma.

8. You will miss your baby even if he is in the same room as you but in someone else's arms.

9. Nothing can prepare you for seeing how upset they are at their 8 week jabs.

10. That you cannot comprehend the love you have for this tiny little person. Even when they've woken up for the fourth time in the night for a feed, they are still the most precious thing in your life and nothing can prepare you for the love you will feel for them.

11. You will never have clean clothes or bedding. Babies can puke without any warning!

12. Sitting down for a cup of tea in peace will start to be classed as a luxury.

13. Getting out of the house takes 10 times longer. You think you've got everything/everyone ready and then the baby throws up/needs a clean nappy/change of clothes/needs feeding etc.

14. Despite saying 'Oh I'll never watch trash like Jeremy Kyle' you start watching it and look forward to it every day.

15. The first few weeks you will survive off  toast, tea, diet coke, water and haribo. Oh and a lot of chocolate. I couldn't stop eating giant cadbury buttons in the first few weeks!

It's still the best time of your life though and smiles like this make it all worthwhile.

mummystartingout x

Breast feeding - 7 weeks in

The Saturday after Charlie was born on the Tuesday I nearly gave up breast feeding. The night of his birth he wouldn't feed. No one told me that babies who have a traumatic delivery often don't feed for a day or so as they recover from the birth. Apparent babies are born with enough in them to keep them going 24-36 hours without needing to feed. How true that is I don't know. But Charlie wouldn't feed. When he did start getting hungry he would fuss and fret when trying to latch. Then when he did latch he fed and fed and fed. So by the Saturday afternoon I was sore, tired and still also recovering from the birth myself. I couldn't put him down and I remember just thinking I just want a bath! So I nearly gave in and went to formula.

After some tears, some harsh words from hubby (which I didn't appreciate at the time, but in hindsight, helped) and a bit of time to have a wash, a glass of wine and a nice meal cooked by my mum I stuck with it.

The next few weeks were still difficult. He still fretted when latching and my supply was all over the place. He fed on demand every 2 hours or so and it was hard going. Many times I thought formula feeding would be easier - it wouldn't always have to involve me. However then it snowed, our power was out for four days and we were snowed in - if I hadn't had been breast feeding I would have had no way of feeding my baby. It made me realise that actually breast feeding is important - to me anyway. I don't go around advocating "breast is best" but I do think it's what I want for my baby. No one can deny the benefits.

It has not been easy. There have been plenty of times I felt like giving up. Particularly when he's gone through growth spurts and fed all day. But so far I've stuck with it and today marks 7 weeks of breast feeding so I feel proud that I've stuck it out and made it this far.

The past couple of weeks I think I've found my stride with it. I breast fed in public for the first time. Albeit with another breast feeding mummy, but I then went on to go it on my own, just Charlie and me, in a cafe. I've also started to express once a day during the first morning feed. I'm getting about 4-5 oz each time and freezing it so that in a few weeks the hubby can start getting involved feeding and give him this and also in preparation for when I go back to work.

I still think formula feeding would make things slightly easier on me but on the whole it's not worth it for me. At the minute Charlie may cluster feed from 6pm - 11pm most evenings, but then he sleeps until 4/5 in the morning. Last night he even went until 6.10am! We are getting there and settling into a pattern. I know this stage doesn't last forever. And when he lays his hand on my chest and looks up into my eyes during feeding it makes it all worthwhile.
Mummystartingout x

This Week's Memories

Lovely gifts from friends

Finally getting around to using my butter dish!

All snuggled up for a walk

Enjoying his new baby gym!

My Mother's day present 

Looking cute. He did not stay this way that day!

Mid-week treat! 

Dancing 

More lovely gifts from friends 

Nap time! 

Baby diary - 6 weeks

I know a lot of fellow bloggers are doing this and I don't want to be seen as 'jumping on the band wagon' but I really want to have something that charts my little boy's early days. So I'm not going to do it as a series of letters but more a diary style of major events and changes ans also less significant developments. 

6 WEEKS 

I cannot believe my boy is six weeks old today. Time is definitely y flying and going too fast. I am already dreading going back to work and that's not until September!

The health visitor came last week and he weighed 8lb 9oz, so he has put a whole lb on since the midwife discharged us! She also said he was very alert and had great head control. 

He has started to sleep a lot less during the day unless I take him out in the pram or the car, but since he sleeps from 10.30pm ish until 4/5 i am not too concerned. He tends to wake up at this point for a short feed and then goes back to sleep until about 7ish. Although i often have to put him n with us as he can be a bit unsettled from this time in his basket. It's lovely to snuggle up to him in bed, he's so warm and snuggly and it seems to settle him. 

He then wakes up about 7-8 for another feed and then stays awake until about 10ish. Sometimes he will then have a three hour nap and sometimes he will just have an hour or so. This is the time i fly around trying o get jobs done, have a shower,m breakfast etc. I bought him a babygym so once he wakes up and has been fed I try and put him on this for a bit. He's not good at sitting on his own and much prefers to be in some one's arms! 

The rest of the day is still not in a routine really. We tend to nip out for a bit after lunch, so he might sleep. If not he can get a bit grizzly after lunch time. We have a withcing hour from about 7-10at night. Again sometimes, he will drop off for a nap between 8-10 and sometimes he won't. I take him up about 10.30 for a final feed and he goes to sleep about 11. His night routine seems to be much more established than his day routine, but since it means we are getting a decent sleep at night, I really don't mind. 

He seems to suffer from a  bit of wind or colic. I am going to speak to the health visitor next week as not sure which one it is. I think it's trapped wind as after a lot of trumping he seems much better! He scan scream the house down when it strikes and he goes purple screaming and straining. It's horrible to watch, but we have been using gripe water and lots of cuddles and eventually it goes away. 

Unfortunately, he seems to be a bit of a grazer and seems to snack all day. As I am breastfeeding this can be a bit difficult, but as he's still so young I am just going with it. I am trying to make him feed for longer, but often he drops off or stops himself. He seems to cluster feed all evening, again it's a bit of a pain, but I am just going with it and letting him establish his own pattern. 

He seems to be able to roll himself over already! Especially when he is on his play mat! He seems to be growing so quick, but he is still in newborn clothes at the moment, which I am pleased about as he was so tiny and I just want him to stay that way! He is so cute. 

Hopefully as he gets a bit older, he will grow out of the cluster feeding and the wind but we will see. We are enjoying lots of cuddles and walks and getting to know each other. 

We haven't yet met up with any other new mums, but we have lots of plans this week! 

mummystartingout x

Our boy Charlie. 6 weeks old.